Just keep BRAINS!

Cemetary-Travels and the life of a german Darkling.

Tag: rant

Where have I been? Changes that need to be done.

Hey there, Internet!

So maybe some of you noticed that I have not posted anything in a month (prior to the Zenmed post). There have been quite a few reasons.

1704 declutter soulstrip blogupdates changes life nature tree dead spring bluesky

I currently am working 250-300hrs / month AND am in a postgraduate training. As much as I love working on this blog I earn my money as geriatric nurse. Wondering why I work that much even though here in Germany ~160hrs / month are common?

I’m preparing to move. Again. Let’s not talk about all the reasons in this post because hell, there are a lot. Moving to this city is part of the reason why I felt this horrible lately. What seemed to be so perfect turned into a complete nightmare. Moving needs money (so does the MOT test that needs to be done in September). So more working hours for more money, this year only though.

Networking, real life and online. I noticed a lot of my ‘friends’ would not even care for how bad I have been feeling lately, people that I always supported as much as possible now don’t have a moment to talk to me or even add something to the pile of chaos and destruction. Toxic people who really put me down, drained my energy, made me feel horrible, empty and worthless. Finally learned my lesson, now I know who will be with me in my bad times and when I am in trouble as well. Been talking to them a lot and also been on a goth portal more often, meeting new people.

Digital Detox. With all the other tiny things in life it was time to focus. So I was offline most of the time. Very few posts on Instagram or Twitter,… Not answering emails, phonecalls or PMs within a second. Sometimes what you need most is to slow down a bit, to breathe.

Declutter. Flat, wardrobe, life, everything. That needs a while.

And because I don’t want to stop this blog, the posting schedule for this year, as long as I work that much of extra hours, will have to change. For that time one post / week, early Monday will be done. Maybe more if I have enough time but better setting my goals low. The comments still will be set to be manually approved. One hour of social media / day so maybe answering will still take a while.

This will change when I have more time again, and a new home.

When was the last time you did a digital detox and declutter your life? Have a great evening!



Random 17-02!

Hey there, Internet!

Monthly Post of Random Pictures / Thoughts & Questions / Links and other things that happened during the past month (or since writing last random post) and would not fit into another post…

1702 random gothgirl selfie nostrilpiercing lippiercing fledermausbrille 1702 random exploded hotplate 1702 random halloween decor zombie kitten cat

Left: No eyebrow days! Center: Exploded hotplate, like seriously? This was new! Right: Also a no eyebrow person!

Maybe these thoughts / questions would be useful as inspiration or someone knows the answer? (If none of these, hopefully at least they would be entertaining.)

list-bat-png More WGT Bands, Peter Heppner, another guy whose voice one will never forget, I love every single song I know by Wolfsheim and Heppners other projects, happy! Also Tickets are available and of course I immediately bought mine! And on top of that Sex Gang Children! First Andi Sex Gang said it on Twitter and now WGT officially announced them, so happy and I doubt they could send another band I would want to see more!
list-bat-png A friend did a facebook post, referring to that old TV show pimp my ride, wondering if anyone would still drive their cars that got a makeover on that show. Of course I had to reply ‘gosh, loved that show and would totally let them do a makeover for my beloved youngtimer‘ another friend of her replied that there are rumors the cars fell apart maybe a few years later. This kind of makes me angry, in the past few years that I own my chrysler le baron (built in 1988) I’ve had so many bad experiences with garages. Why, just why? If people can’t do their job well they should do something else. If they don’t enjoy their jobs they should do something else. I’ve had enough bad experiences that I usually refuse to leave my car in the garage, instead I prefer to spend my entire day watching that nothing goes wrong. Oh and for the record: I just spent 200€ on a new windshield.
list-bat-png Why is it that movies often change their sound volume within a short amount of time to nearly mute, then a song louder than any friday night could offer, to nearly mute again. I would like to enjoy something without constantly having the control in my hands so my neighbors wont wake up from my TV. Guess that is one of the resons why I prefer music to TV?
list-bat-png Probably every girl sometimes gets some unrequested dickpics by total strangers. I was wondering why they won’t at least put some effort in them, picture quality or pose wise. No I don’t enjoy getting them but would probably feel less disgusted if they looked more artsy than simply shouting ‘HERE IT IS, LOOK AT IT!!’. Why would you feel the need to send a pic your dick to a stranger anyways?
list-bat-png Since talking about 2017’s festival season… Korn is announced as headliner fot Mera Luna. To be honest I don’t know a single song of them but my mind always placed them in a pretty mainstream spot… Maybe will take a listen to them on youtube but then again, I decided to not go to Mera Luna this year or in the near future since last time did not feel as it did before… Dunno. Instead, this year (additional to WGT) I will head to Autumn Moon (Mid October in Hameln) and maybe a third one, maybe Amphi sine it is back at Tanzbrunnen, maybe Castleparty in Poland since one of my favourite people on earth Fredrik Croona will be playing a gig there and one should always support friends especially when they do something you love… What festivals and events will you attend this year?

And here are my most favourite / inspiring posts from other blogs / websites this month:

list-bat-png Now, if we are honest to ourselves, Mrs. Strawberry Blonde talked about something probably a lot of us have that problem, maybe not as much though XD Beauty Hoarder Problems Part 4: Countless Back-ups
list-bat-png And talking about addictions, the lovely shameful narcissist keeps us up to date with her writings and readings each week and it seems lately the state of the reader post gets longer and longer, I would say this is some kind of talent. I barely can keep concentrated on more than one story at a time while she seems to never get confused!

Most played songs this month: Again, as new bands for WGT get announced that is what my playlist mainly was made of.

list-bat-png Peter Heppner – God Smoked
list-bat-png Soviet Soviet – Ecstasy
list-bat-png Rotersand – Beneath the Stars
list-bat-png Sex Gang Children – Sebastian
list-bat-png Skeletal Family – Don’t be denied

What else?

list-bat-png Movies and things: It is very rare that I watch a movie in German but for whoever enjoyed ‘Der Tatortreiniger’: You might want to take a look at ‘Der Aufschneider’ I was crying from laughing! Besides that there were a lot of horrible vampire movies. Dunno why but even though I am not a huge fan of the genre I still watch every one I find and then decide, always, that it would not reach Interview with the vampire. Tom Cruise maybe isn’t my favourite human being BUT that movie is perfection.
list-bat-png Books: Not actually a book but some articles and a term paper about breast cancer. I know this currently is a dominant topic on here, sorry for that, but having another case in my close family I can’t ignore… Oh and I started reading my swedish language books again! Want to continue learning!

What has been inspiring for you this February? Any plans for March? Have a nice evening!


February, 14th…

Hey there, Internet!

So, it was Valentines Day, again. February, 14th. I never actually cared about this day but when you really miss a person, being an unhappy single or having a partner who lives far away from you, this day can be quite painful. I knew this year I would have to stay away from social media because there would be hearts and happiness everywhere. Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy for my friends in happy, sweet working relationships and whenever they post couple pictures or roses or heart-emojis on each others timeline I am squeeing from cuteness overload. It is just, on days like this when all your newsfeed on social media, email, TV, EVERYWHERE is covered in reds and pinks it is too much.

random thoughts anti valentines day absinthe spoons wormwood silverware

Too much for a broken heart or for most people who, like me, think you should show your partner, family and friends, how much you love them and support them every day of the year. To me, valentines day is like most ‘holidays’ it can be ok but easily too much, when you feel a pressure to do something, something is wrong. Today’s society seems to turn every holiday into something where only presents are important. When you feel the need to spend more and more each year and to celebrate those events with bigger parties, presents, surprises, decoration, whatever, so maybe Valentines day for those people in relationships are even more of a horror these days than for the singles? At least we save money on presents, can spend that day in a hot bathtub, dreaming of the next day when chocolate is on sale.

Some of my friends posted their valentines traditions and it seems for some countries valentines day is about friendship rather than about that romantic relationship. Nice thought and I think I need some friends to spend valentines day with next year. No matter if by then we are in relationships or not. I just think we should be there for each other and that this special day is something that might trigger a lot of my friends into bad moods, maybe I will do some anti-valentines day party next year? Maybe some friendship-valentines / halloween mixture, pizza for dinner, tiny chocolate cupcakes with bloody looking icing for dessert, presents with bloody anatomical hearts or knife jewelry, red sparkling wine, cuddles and horror movies? Knowing my friends though the presents probably would turn into adult-shop gifts or giftcards within a year or two… This again though would mean some present pressure again then… Dunno.

While doing some research german Wikipedia did have a nice fact on this day for all the vampire lovers: 1931 in New York Dracula had premier night. Tod Browning’s horror movie after Bram Stokers book with Bela Lugosi. V-day then is not short for valentines but for vampires?

How did you spend this day? Covered in roses with a loved one, laughing with some friends or with some tea and chocolate by yourself? Have a nice evening!


Random 16-12

Hey there, Internet!

Last monthly post of the year, last whatever post of the year on justkeepbrains.com, looking forwards to a more active 2017, hopefully without any breaks, with some interesting topics and I will try my best to really add the youtube contents that I’ve planned so many times before, same with my etsy shop… Enjoy your New Years eve, I hope you can spend it with the people you love and see you in a hopefully less negative year 2017!

Monthly Post of Random Pictures / Thoughts & Questions / Links and other things that happened during the past month (or since writing last random post) and would not fit into another post…

1612 random gothic medieval chainmail crafting diy knitting 1612 random gothic selfie gothgoth fledermausbrille glasses fuck mittelfingermittwoch piercings 1612 random nature weather rainbow winter germany

left: working on my chainmail dress again, put on too much weight since I started working on it a few years ago so starting over. center: my opinion on 2016. right: amazingly bright rainbow, guess December already shows how good 2017 CAN become!

Maybe these thoughts / questions would be useful as inspiration or someone knows the answer? (If none of these, hopefully at least they would be entertaining.)

list-bat-png Dyeing / bleaching back to platin blonde bit by bit (roots and a few streaks at once) and so far am happy with how my hair reacts to the bleach. Already feel more like myself again and please, someone remind me if I ever want to dye black that I did not like it, that I looked like my mom (as mentioned before, nothing against her but I don’t have to look like a younger version of an already existing person)
list-bat-png I saw a documentation where someone said that when fashion industry introduced standard sizes it was the actual start of people feeling bad in their bodies because they usually would simply not fit 100% so something on their bodies always would be too thin, too wide, too whatever.
list-bat-png Signed up for amazon prime, sometimes I just don’t have enough time to drive to the dvd store and while there probably is nothing that annoys me as much as regular TV sometimes you just need moving pictures instead of music and sometimes my laptop only wants a few programs to be open at the same time-
list-bat-png Did a trip to Berlin with one of those car sharing portals, this way it was cheap and ‘ok’ so probably will do this sometimes again (update: two trips are planned for January)! And yes, it felt good to be in Berlin and I had really nice company, movies and great food!

And here are my most favourite / inspiring posts from other blogs / websites this month:

list-bat-png The herdless witch launched her ebook, sons and daughters of perdition
list-bat-png Bane from Goth it yourself did a great post about her thoughts on blogging that got me and a lot of other people thinking…

Most played songs this month:

list-bat-png Sex Gang Children – Sebastian
list-bat-png L’ame Immortelle – Stern
list-bat-png Anne Marie Hurst – Your Eyes
list-bat-png Cynical Existence – I’m broken
list-bat-png Agonoize – Femme Fatale

What has been inspiring for you this December or 2016 in general? Any plans for January / 2017? Have a nice evening, see you next year! Please remember when celebrating with fireworks that it can be pretty scary to animals, maybe there is a way you can reduce it?


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