Just keep BRAINS!

Cemetary-Travels and the life of a german Darkling.

Tag: private

Where have I been? Changes that need to be done.

Hey there, Internet!

So maybe some of you noticed that I have not posted anything in a month (prior to the Zenmed post). There have been quite a few reasons.

1704 declutter soulstrip blogupdates changes life nature tree dead spring bluesky

I currently am working 250-300hrs / month AND am in a postgraduate training. As much as I love working on this blog I earn my money as geriatric nurse. Wondering why I work that much even though here in Germany ~160hrs / month are common?

I’m preparing to move. Again. Let’s not talk about all the reasons in this post because hell, there are a lot. Moving to this city is part of the reason why I felt this horrible lately. What seemed to be so perfect turned into a complete nightmare. Moving needs money (so does the MOT test that needs to be done in September). So more working hours for more money, this year only though.

Networking, real life and online. I noticed a lot of my ‘friends’ would not even care for how bad I have been feeling lately, people that I always supported as much as possible now don’t have a moment to talk to me or even add something to the pile of chaos and destruction. Toxic people who really put me down, drained my energy, made me feel horrible, empty and worthless. Finally learned my lesson, now I know who will be with me in my bad times and when I am in trouble as well. Been talking to them a lot and also been on a goth portal more often, meeting new people.

Digital Detox. With all the other tiny things in life it was time to focus. So I was offline most of the time. Very few posts on Instagram or Twitter,… Not answering emails, phonecalls or PMs within a second. Sometimes what you need most is to slow down a bit, to breathe.

Declutter. Flat, wardrobe, life, everything. That needs a while.

And because I don’t want to stop this blog, the posting schedule for this year, as long as I work that much of extra hours, will have to change. For that time one post / week, early Monday will be done. Maybe more if I have enough time but better setting my goals low. The comments still will be set to be manually approved. One hour of social media / day so maybe answering will still take a while.

This will change when I have more time again, and a new home.

When was the last time you did a digital detox and declutter your life? Have a great evening!

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2-Year Blogversary & Giveaway!

Hey there, Internet!

Even though I did have my Blogspot blog some years before it was February, 27th 2015 that I started Justkeepbrains.com after a break here on WordPress. The previous year was quite a mess and to be honest I still am trying to get back into my routine but even though there are quite some problems the real-life pile of chaos is slowly shrinking so I am sure it won’t be too long.

And nothing will make me leave the blogosphere, that’s for sure. I met so many amazing people and some even turned into really close friends. Really am happy to have met everyone, blogger or reader, of you and even though currently my social media time is very limited your instagram, youtube, twitter, blogs or your comments on here are really inspiring, thank you for every minute you spend on those!

1602 blogversary bat celebrating

So, giveaway time!

Please follow the link to the rafflecopter giveaway and enter the giveaway there, it is a third party service that draws a winner by random as soon as I hit the button. Sadly the code of the giveaway is not accepted by wordpress so there is no way to simply include it into this post.

Rules to enter:

list-bat-png Join the rafflecopter giveaway thing / link at the bottom of this post, please read all of the rules though (of course, sharing or following would be nice but knowing the unfollow button exists what can I do… Still, following at twitter gives an additional ticket) * rafflecopter saves your name and email adress and when the giveaway is closed I can push a button and it will select the winner randomly.
list-bat-png By entering this giveaway you confirm that you are an adult / allowed to enter giveaways, will be able to tell me your name and adress afterwards.
list-bat-png I am not responsible for any grammar mistakes in the description or missunderstandings of the things included in the package. I also am not responsible for any allergies, reactions, damages on people by the package or on things in the package or money charged by customs or whatever there might be – also please check before if importing any of these products would get you in trouble. And yes, I pay for the content of the giveaway, this is not sponsored, I am just sharing my love for those furry bats with you and yes, asked the people at BWS if they were ok with me doing it as a price for the giveaway!

This giveaway is open until 2017, March, 24th at 12:00am Berlin time, open worldwide.

Stuff you will win:

list-bat-png Adopt-a-bat at Bat World Sanctuary – Adopt-a-bat, according to their website / see link / consists of: A personalized adoption certificate, A matted 5″ x 7″ glossy photo of your bat, Your bat’s personal story, A graphic representing the size of your bat, The natural history of the species, A beautiful bookmark and a bat rescue card, A myths and facts card, An online membership to Bat World Sanctuary that includes their magazine, the money spent will help the BWS to pay for food and medical supplies for the bats that cannot leave as well as supporting other bats in need. ❤

So, here’s the link to the giveaway!

Thank you for reading, sharing, and entering! Have a nice evening!

Want to take a look at previous giveaways? Halloween 2015, Blogversary 2016, Halloween 2016

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WAR-drobe stories (aka building a goth wardrobe pt. 1, boots & shoes)

Hey there, Internet!

It happened. And that a lot lately. Emails and PMs asking how much I spent on my wardrobe so far and if there would be some advice I could give for building a gothy wardrobe. At first that question got me pretty much confused (or more the fact that it appeared more than once or twice lately), I have seen some of those guides before but thought they would be some nice inspiration when you got too confused in your wardrobe and maybe needed some inspiration or motivation for changing a bit or for clearing your wardrobe rather than being an actual guide on how to start dressing a special way but while talking to those lovely baby bats ( ❤ ) they indeed were asking how I would start to change my wardrobe / clothing jewelry these days and how I did ‘back then’ when my fabrics turned black, when I was on my pupils budged / pocket money. Telling me that today there is so much to shop that it is simply confusing for someone who just found their love for the darker subcultures. Got me thinking for a while.

So I found my first ‘bat family’ when I was just 11 years old. Back then (1998) there were not so many and easy to find goth stores, maybe when you were living in big cities but not in a tiny town like the one where I grew up. And online shopping? We barely had internet over here in Germany. I was happy for the ‘eldergoths’ who took care of me. Even though we did not have that word back then, simply amazing creatures who were 10 to 20 years older than me, some were in the punk or goth subculture for 10 years or more, they enjoyed taking care of that little girl over here so I got some help and inspiration for my DIY projects or sometimes I would even get a piece of clothing or accessorie, new or handmedown as present, lucky! Talking about being lucky, I was totally in love with the designs of Lip Service so when I learned about online shopping and after a lot of begging my mom sometimes would let me use her credit card for a USA lip service order!

Note: I did have some color phases when I tried to mix a piece or two into my wardrobe. Did not work for me but a girl has to try what a girl wants to try. If you like some of your ‘mainstream’ clothes who would have the right to tell you to throw them away? Nobody. And if you want to dress like a happy rainbow glitter faerie so please do it. Clothes should make you happy. I actually do have some friends who are still the gothiest person on earth in their hearts but due to job restrictions or issues their kids had at school because of their darkling parents or because they found their love for some color they changed their style to something more mainstream. Some would still throw on their gothy stuff and tease their hair on the weekends, some would not. Still friends. So stay with the people who adore you for the person inside of you, not for what you wear.

Whatever, after I thought about that topic for a while I thought I would do a small series on this blog (and while doing so, maybe take a closer look at my wardrobe – you know those moments that you realize you have too much of this or are missing that? Let me see what is hiding in the corners – even though I usually dig through my stuff once a year and sell what hasn’t been worn. Unless my heart is connected to it, of course.)

1703 wardrobestories gothicclothing shoeandboots collection ironfistwebs docmartens solovair 1703 wardrobestories gothclothing shoesandboots docmartenswhite work corporate

those that will remain: Iron Fists Walking in my Web Heavy Sole Boots, Doc Martens patent leather 20-hole boots, Solovair 8-hole stompy leather boots with steel cap. Right pic are my working boots, white 8-hole Doc Martens. All the other shoes and boots don’t get enough love and hence will face ebay soon, yay for some empty space in my wardrobe!

So when I started the first thing I wanted were shoes. Before, I was wearing Buffalo plateau shoes, blue and white, they were the only ones available in my size (EU41.5 / UK 8 / US10-11). Did I mention how horrible the shopping situation was? In the beginning I even used a sharpie to paint them black. For shopping some shoes you should know your feet and what style you currently shop for and what style you would like to go for. Someone who is more into 80s/90s goth might want to buy different boots than those who enjoy fetish, military, cyber or lolita. My advice would always be to start a pinterest or moodboard, we do have the technical advances of the internet so we should use it! Most companies these days have shoes made from leather and vegan alternatives for some of their designs as well.

My very first gothy boots were Doc Martens. Nothing is ever wrong with simple black stompy boots. Perfect for clubbing nights, days on the town, spent in nature or actually I think for everything. Even with a ballgown, let them stare, they probably never will understand how comfy they are once the blister days are over! I buy a new black 8-hole pair every 3-5 years and also have a white pair for work and a 20-hole pair in shiny black pvc as well as maybe 2-3 on my wishlist that I am sure I will never actually buy anyways. I am not a huge shoe collector, really I usually only have like 6 or 7 pairs at the same time – even my exes did have more shoes than me.

I then wanted a pair of heels, never wore high heels before, they hurt my feet, were super expensive and I hated them, even though they did look amazing and made my booty look not so much like that early, tiny teenage girl that I was but more like a womans, wasn’t worth it for me. New Rocks in Black / Purple if I’m not mistaken, I never even liked purple, they are no longer with me like so many other shoes afterwards. Today I do understand that my feet need plateau soles in heels and better have thick heels or none than those tiny spiky ones, I have 2 pairs of Jeffrey Campbell heels, they do feel amazing (Lita Night Spikes – those that look like unicorn feet with spikes – and Litas in black fishnets) and I sometimes wear them at home or when visiting friends or for photos or when I am sure there will be no uneven ground and no alcohol at an event. If the ground is not even I can’t dance in them. When I’m drunk I get clumsy and simply fall down. I still drool over some New Rocks, Fantasma or Hades heels but I know they would spend more time in a corner of my flat than on my feet so that is not going to happen unless I win the lottery. When you adore the metal heels of New Rocks, they also come with heels that are less extreme and Demonias latest collection has some metal heels as well and they have some really pretty plateau boots and shoes in general!

Oh and while we are talking about things that maybe will never happen, Wellington boots! Even in the worst rain I will stick to my Docs, lately there appeared some beautiful designs though, with skull/roses prints or in black with military inspired lacing on top of the rubber, those could convince me, maybe. Sandals will probably never be a part of my collection either, the shoes with less fabric in my collection already don’t get enough love because I hate when my feet get cold. 40°C in summer? You will still find me wearing my boots. Thinking about some of those black jelly sandals or flipflops for the swimming pool though. My sport shoes gave up a while ago so I currently stick to my stompy boots but my previous ones usually were Capezio or Asics.

As for lolita girls or any other playful female styles you might find the ones you like with TUK but be careful with the zippers, I killed some of my blackmilk leggings with them (three pairs of TUKs have been in my collection that I remember, we don’t like each other, they won’t last long for me but I have friends who love them and say they are lasting forever while their Demonias broke fast – those last forever for me though, they also do have some nice Mary Janes available.)

And of course, every 80s/90s goths favourite Winklepickers, these lately seem to be everywhere again as well which I consider a good thing. Remember my post about The Gothic Shoe Company? I learned that my feet feel cold in my pair and probably will sell them and get a boot-kind-of pair. BTW, I’m wondering why they never replied to my questions…?

Another brand you could browse would be Iron Fist, last time I checked they would not ship directly to Germany though but you can easily get most pairs at resellers like attitude, beserk, find them on ebay or amazon. Lately Killstar released their first collection of shoes as well! Tempted to buy a pair but those heels, trying to resist over here! When you are afraid of online shopping though you might find something for your needs in town as well, if the boots are too boring for your likings try adding some spikes, spiderweb or bat paints or exchange the laces with chains! For the people who prefer soft fabrics even chucks can look good, depending on how you style them!

1703 wardrobestories gothic shoe collection demonia winklepickers pointyshoes 1703 wardrobestories gothic shoecollection jeffreycampbell fishnetlitas litasnightspikes

So my collection is now cut in half, these will head to ebay: Demonia Sprite01, my Winklepickers, Jeffrey Campbell Fishnet Litas and Lita Night Spikes (Unicorn shoes)

Uh, so my shopping list now has black jelly sandals on it, two different pairs of Demonia boots (Clash 430, Sinister 203) as well as a new pair of Capezio dancesneakers and maybe, if lucky enough to find them in my size (EU41.5/UK8/US10) the YRU Qloud Gis. And I threw some of the shoes to an ebay pile that won’t be worn anyways because of cold feet. No matter how beautiful they are, shoes are made for walking, dancing and simply to be worn, not as decoration! I think that’s not too much for a wishlist though!

What are your preferences in shoes / boots? How did you start you collection? What is currently on your wishlist? Have a nice evening!

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Random 17-02!

Hey there, Internet!

Monthly Post of Random Pictures / Thoughts & Questions / Links and other things that happened during the past month (or since writing last random post) and would not fit into another post…

1702 random gothgirl selfie nostrilpiercing lippiercing fledermausbrille 1702 random exploded hotplate 1702 random halloween decor zombie kitten cat

Left: No eyebrow days! Center: Exploded hotplate, like seriously? This was new! Right: Also a no eyebrow person!

Maybe these thoughts / questions would be useful as inspiration or someone knows the answer? (If none of these, hopefully at least they would be entertaining.)

list-bat-png More WGT Bands, Peter Heppner, another guy whose voice one will never forget, I love every single song I know by Wolfsheim and Heppners other projects, happy! Also Tickets are available and of course I immediately bought mine! And on top of that Sex Gang Children! First Andi Sex Gang said it on Twitter and now WGT officially announced them, so happy and I doubt they could send another band I would want to see more!
list-bat-png A friend did a facebook post, referring to that old TV show pimp my ride, wondering if anyone would still drive their cars that got a makeover on that show. Of course I had to reply ‘gosh, loved that show and would totally let them do a makeover for my beloved youngtimer‘ another friend of her replied that there are rumors the cars fell apart maybe a few years later. This kind of makes me angry, in the past few years that I own my chrysler le baron (built in 1988) I’ve had so many bad experiences with garages. Why, just why? If people can’t do their job well they should do something else. If they don’t enjoy their jobs they should do something else. I’ve had enough bad experiences that I usually refuse to leave my car in the garage, instead I prefer to spend my entire day watching that nothing goes wrong. Oh and for the record: I just spent 200€ on a new windshield.
list-bat-png Why is it that movies often change their sound volume within a short amount of time to nearly mute, then a song louder than any friday night could offer, to nearly mute again. I would like to enjoy something without constantly having the control in my hands so my neighbors wont wake up from my TV. Guess that is one of the resons why I prefer music to TV?
list-bat-png Probably every girl sometimes gets some unrequested dickpics by total strangers. I was wondering why they won’t at least put some effort in them, picture quality or pose wise. No I don’t enjoy getting them but would probably feel less disgusted if they looked more artsy than simply shouting ‘HERE IT IS, LOOK AT IT!!’. Why would you feel the need to send a pic your dick to a stranger anyways?
list-bat-png Since talking about 2017’s festival season… Korn is announced as headliner fot Mera Luna. To be honest I don’t know a single song of them but my mind always placed them in a pretty mainstream spot… Maybe will take a listen to them on youtube but then again, I decided to not go to Mera Luna this year or in the near future since last time did not feel as it did before… Dunno. Instead, this year (additional to WGT) I will head to Autumn Moon (Mid October in Hameln) and maybe a third one, maybe Amphi sine it is back at Tanzbrunnen, maybe Castleparty in Poland since one of my favourite people on earth Fredrik Croona will be playing a gig there and one should always support friends especially when they do something you love… What festivals and events will you attend this year?

And here are my most favourite / inspiring posts from other blogs / websites this month:

list-bat-png Now, if we are honest to ourselves, Mrs. Strawberry Blonde talked about something probably a lot of us have that problem, maybe not as much though XD Beauty Hoarder Problems Part 4: Countless Back-ups
list-bat-png And talking about addictions, the lovely shameful narcissist keeps us up to date with her writings and readings each week and it seems lately the state of the reader post gets longer and longer, I would say this is some kind of talent. I barely can keep concentrated on more than one story at a time while she seems to never get confused!

Most played songs this month: Again, as new bands for WGT get announced that is what my playlist mainly was made of.

list-bat-png Peter Heppner – God Smoked
list-bat-png Soviet Soviet – Ecstasy
list-bat-png Rotersand – Beneath the Stars
list-bat-png Sex Gang Children – Sebastian
list-bat-png Skeletal Family – Don’t be denied

What else?

list-bat-png Movies and things: It is very rare that I watch a movie in German but for whoever enjoyed ‘Der Tatortreiniger’: You might want to take a look at ‘Der Aufschneider’ I was crying from laughing! Besides that there were a lot of horrible vampire movies. Dunno why but even though I am not a huge fan of the genre I still watch every one I find and then decide, always, that it would not reach Interview with the vampire. Tom Cruise maybe isn’t my favourite human being BUT that movie is perfection.
list-bat-png Books: Not actually a book but some articles and a term paper about breast cancer. I know this currently is a dominant topic on here, sorry for that, but having another case in my close family I can’t ignore… Oh and I started reading my swedish language books again! Want to continue learning!

What has been inspiring for you this February? Any plans for March? Have a nice evening!

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