Goth and Depression?
Hey there, Internet!
Actually I did not want to join the discussion on this topic that came up on every darkly inclined website or group on every social media a few weeks ago after an article in some newspaper stated that there is a connection between teenage goths and depression – not going to link to that newspaper / article though, if you really want to look it up feel free to google it. Sure, they said that ‘they are not saying being goth causes depression’ but still, reading through it you might easily think that the higher risk they mention actually would state goth as a reason for depression. Obviously though I do have a few things to say about this topic now. Sorry for a very personal soul striptease and probably a bit negative blogpost. I usually try to keep this place on the happy side but with this topic and the emotions attatched I am sorry, I can’t. I tried to write this post for about a month now, was not happy with the result and started again since I am not willing to put anything online that is not fully finished.
There have been happening a lot of bad things amongst my family and friends during the past two months. Far too many, a quite scary amount of my loved ones, got diagnosted with cancer last year and this year again, some were able to fight their way through it, some are still trying to beat that thing, and sadly a few lost that fight, not all of them lost against cancer itself, since facing a disease that might kill you as well might bring up another enemy, depression. Easy to guess, not all of them were goths.
Little me, not depressed, not goth but in love with the bats and spiders living in our attic and I already knew what to do with that hand! \m/
I have been diagnosted with depressions when I was a child. This was not a girl being goth, this was an 11-year old girl who was mourning the death of her father, not being able to understand what was happening or how to get out of that mourning again the way she lived and thought back then. Of course, therapies and all that were done, still not successful, mini-me stayed locked in those mental chains. Acting normal, being sad, thinking too much.
Eventually I met a group of goths – cliche, covered in black velvet, chains, totally beautiful and fascinating with their vampire like attitudes. They were 10-15 years older than me and didn’t live close to me, but were still people who I felt deeply connected to (and thanks to the being older fact and them having their own cars we were able to meet quite often). They were able to show me things to love about life, music, places, art, made me feel better, tought me to understand what my soul needed, smile again with my heart instead of putting on that mask I was used to wear.
At school I was bullied because of the way I looked, other pupils started calling me names, throwing waste at me and even pushing my head into the toilet. It hurt, I hated school only because of them, if I would have had the chance to quit school I might have done so. Not because of being goth but because of bullies, that can happen to every child at any time (be it to look, religion, grades or whatever, people are mean, so are their children). Teachers did not care – believe me, after becoming friends with those goths I was confident enough to talk about what happened. My mom managed to make the teachers put me into a different class, I liked the other pupils, they liked me and everything was fine, no bullying, no bad mood or depression. (On a sidenote: scary thing to me is the fact that one of those bullies now is a teacher, noone of them ever tried to apologize, I am afraid thinking about what her future pupils will have to go through.)
These days you will not find me depressed anymore, maybe in a bad mood of not being able / willing to leave my flat for some days or maybe being too critical regarding things I write, paint, create or maybe even regarding my life, still to me this is normal and as long as it won’t be for longer than 3 days in a row I am fine (been having a year or two of fighting against the return of that inner monster of mine afterwards but I won). Sure there are people who have not yet found their way out of those chains and some might never find it but still it is a part of being alive, being human, not a part of being goth.
So to me goth is not connected, causewise to depression, sure maybe for me it was part of the cure, I think we are able to understand that it is a thing people need to talk about, need to understand. While the majority of society still thinks the only acceptable diseases are the ones you can clearly see prove with blood or broken bones we understand that the soul as well can get sick and needs someone to take good care of to heal again.
Did you read that article? What are your thoughts on that topic? Have a nice evening!